What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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world peace

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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