Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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