Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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