I had a really great joke to tell you!

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

SEX

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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