YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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