Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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THE GAME

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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