roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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Womens' sports

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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