Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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OOOOPPS /

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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The WNBA

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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