Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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