If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops