When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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purple pickles

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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boner

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops