What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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hi

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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