my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Tunechi

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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YOU

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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