what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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PSN IS UP

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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YOU

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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