A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Justin

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down -41

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

i have a christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops