Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops