Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -23

4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

thumb_up thumb_down -23

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -23

tims sty:)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops