Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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