If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

im gey

I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Your Mother

a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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