Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Women's rights

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an athiest walks into a church

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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