If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops