A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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