What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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