What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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