Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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