What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do vampires cross the sea in?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops