How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops