Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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U mad?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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