Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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Two english guys meet at work

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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17

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops