Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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Corn Muffins

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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