Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Women's rights.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops