Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

thumb_up thumb_down -15

After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops