Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I like colin but not as much as apple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops