Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock ... *No ones home*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops