This is a joke. Laugh!

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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