There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Knock Knock Go Away

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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