A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

8

Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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