Bumsniffer

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

NASCAR

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

whats more serious than rape the holocaust

Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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