Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops