Why did it die Nothing died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What black and has children A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

thumb_up thumb_down -13

this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops