If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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i lost the game

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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