Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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donald................duck for president

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops