A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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