What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

falling didnt make the difference

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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