What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Your dads dead. lol

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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