What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

your mother

What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...