If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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