Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops