what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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