A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Potassium? K.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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Chicken

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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