What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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What is cold? Winter

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Male penises.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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knock knock. come in.

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops