matt f stupid because no one likes him

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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pineapples

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops